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The power of vulnerability on a lazy day off

Woke up with no expectations. Just relax and enjoy a lazy day off.

Decided to surf TED. Chose two videos apparently unrelated, but they turned out to be totally related, it's like the second one answered the first one. Both made me reflect… maybe more that I expected on a lazy day off.

I knew I should have just stayed in bed.

The first talk was by David Brooks in which he discusses whether we live to enrich our résumé or to make our eulogy worth listening to.

He mentions the differences between the necessary virtues for a résumé and the ones relevant for your eulogy. His thoughts are based on the book The Lonely Man of Faith, by Rabbi Joseph B. Soloveitchik. The idea of the book is that there are two types of humans, Adam I and Adam II.

The first Adam is the ambitious part of our nature who uses creativity to make things, to subdue the world; his motto: success. The second Adam the humble side of the human nature who wants to do be good; his motto: love and redemption.

What drew my attention to this talk was the battle between living for my résumé or for my eulogy. David Brooks is not a good speaker, but the way he put the topic was definitely insightful.

Then I asked the obvious questions: can't the two sides stop fighting and find balance? I hope it is possible to be creative, to be competitive, to be innovative through respect to the others, through honesty and humility. I do hope it is conceivable that one's success may be shared with the ones who also look for success.

Too naive?



The second video came almost as an answer to the balance issue the first talk brought up.

Brené Brown's The Power of Vulnerability came to answer a few questions about myself and raise a whole bunch of other questions.

She is a great speaker and she describes stories as data with a soul. Nicely put.

According to Brené Brown, fear, shame, vulnerability are apparently positive qualities and make a person wholehearted.

She says, "Vulnerability is the core of shame and fear and our struggle for worthiness, but it appears that it is also the birthplace of joy, of creativity, of belonging, of love."

I saw the second talk as an answer to the first one because it seems to me that by accepting one's vulnerability he/she can tap into a cognitive and emotional potential that hopefully will lead them to accomplish both Adam's missions, success through caring for others.

Of course that success may have different meanings for different individuals, but I'm assuming each one is thinking about achieving their own success.



Brené Brown goes on to talk about the tendency of people numbing the hard feelings and, as a consequence, numbing joy, gratitude, happiness.

Again, according to the speaker

Vulnerability is the core of shame and fear and our struggle for worthiness, but it appears that it is also the birthplace of joy, of creativity, of belonging, of love.

Since I was reflecting on numbness...




Hello?

Is there anybody in there?
Just nod if you can hear me.
Is there anyone at home?
Come on, now,
I hear you're feeling down.
Well I can ease your pain
Get you on your feet again.
Relax.
I'll need some information first.
Just the basic facts.
Can you show me where it hurts?

There is no pain you are receding
A distant ship, smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying.
When I was a child I had a fever
My hands felt just like two balloons.
Now I've got that feeling once again
I can't explain you would not understand
This is not how I am.
I have become comfortably numb.

O.K.
Just a little pinprick.
There'll be no more aaaaaaaaah!
But you may feel a little sick.
Can you stand up?
I do believe it's working, good.
That'll keep you going through the show
Come on it's time to go.

There is no pain you are receding
A distant ship, smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying.
When I was a child 
I caught a fleeting glimpse
Out of the corner of my eye.
I turned to look but it was gone
I cannot put my finger on it now
The child is grown, 
The dream is gone.
I have become comfortably numb.


I have a vulnerable confession to make. I have become comfortably numb and learned to deal with it. I have this extreme fear to show vulnerability, to fail, to demonstrate weakness.

I knew I should have stayed in bed.

ME

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